I'm afraid I can't do that Dave...
 

AT&T Labs Text-to-Speech Demo

Type in up to 300 characters of text and choose from four languages and fifteen different voices (HAL not included). Then you can play it online or download it as a .wav file (suitable for e-mail attachments).

Text-to-Speech

This could be you...
 

Become a socialist hero...in just 4 easy steps.

An original revolutionary oil painting with your portrait painted like a propaganda poster. Choose from among 16 models and a painting format: 30x20in or 40x26in; then submit a picture of your face. After your approval of a no-cost mock-up and price quote; and payment by PayPal your painting is ready two weeks later and shipped by FedEx. Prices are $150 and up depending on format and complexity. Multiple subjects are possible. A collaboration of French and Chinese artists, Maopost.com also has a sizable archive of propaganda posters from the PRC.

Vintage Chinese Propaganda Posters

iPood 

April Fools

There's over 500 links here to April Fool's Jokes on websites. Beyond the iPod add-on that helps toddlers with toilet training there's X-ray TV, singing donkeys, Cyberflu, laptop lingerie, dolphins surfing the internet, a USB Tanning Center, a 2GB Flash Drive to download your brain's memory, mythological pet cloning, and caffeine inhalers. There's also hacks and garish website reformats (why is pink so popular this year?). There's even gtachicago.com and a Wrigley Field retractable wooden dome. Includes archives of links from 2004 and 2005.

Urgo's 2006 list of April Fool's Jokes on Websites

The Jetsons (1962)
 

My Flying Car

I've been waiting forty years for my flying car. I don't want a hovercraft or a Nikolas Tesla Flivver, but a personal VTOL (vertical take off and landing vehicle). The closest I can get is a prototype model Moller Sky Car, a waiting list at Urban Aeronautics or Roadable Aircraft (no website), and I'm not sure what from Skywalker or Allied Aerotechnics. Jetpacks aren't manufactured by Bell anymore, but there's autogyros, rotorcraft, and ultralight kits galore at the Popular Rotorcraft Association. There's even (maybe) the Rhyme Strap-on Helicopter. But nothing I can take Judy Jetson to the Jet Screamer concert in...

Skycar

Urban Aeronautics

Skywalker

Allied Aerotechnics

Popular Rotorcraft Association

Rhyme Strap-on Helicopter